Finals week always bring a certain amount of real life in to focus.  The toons tend to find hobbies or distractions while they sit idle.  They typically stay at Raignar’s Tavern and Inn in the Dwarven Quarter of Stormwind.

Jaramon (all of them) has been learning to use Deathgrip in a novel way: to pull wine from the Tavern’s bar to his room on the second floor.  He is getting more successful every day, averaging about a one in three ‘mis-pull event’  which leaves a shattered bottle  somewhere  next to a now wet and alcoholic door frame.  Though Sunday afternoon he did decide to improve upon his first aid skill.

Amdusias went on walkabout, trying to find horn cozies for his imp.  He hears someone in Goldshire will sell fur lined ones if he brings them three cats from Crazy Audrey.

Bruinir has been drinking and teaching Gustav the Bear to dance in a tutu.  The local priest has been making quite a bit of coin off of Bruinir and his efforts to get the tutu on to Gustav.  It seems that bears aren’t partial to pink taffeta or toe shoes. Of course once in them, the bear becomes possessive and feels that the clothes are his and really should not be taken away.  This generally results in more drinking, cursing and gold for the priest when it is time to put the gear away.

On Sunday morning as he was gathering Gustav’s costume,  Bruinir was thinking to himself that he might want to try to get the bear drunk before and after practice and when he is mollified by the liquor, it should be easier (and much less painful,) to remove the costume.  He quickly broke out the hard liquor, since ale was not going to do the trick fast enough.  He called Gustav into the Tavern’s great room and poured one of Rubiana’s large mixing bowls full of Dwarven Spirits.

The bear initially took a sniff and snorted,  sending a mist of the booze into the air and scenting the room with it.  Bruinir grabbed a small cup from a table and scooping a small amount from the bowl, sipped it and made the “mmmmmmmm” sound, hoping the bear would understand.  Because the “mmmmmmmmm” sound is universal hunter and pet speak for “Tasty NomNom”.  The bear feeling that this was safe, sat and upended the Bowl with relish.  Bruinir waited for a moment for the bear to get tipsy and grabbed the tutu.  Gustav growled and demanded more.

It was at this precise second that Jaramon determined some hair of the dog was vitally important to his immediate well being.  Without thinking, he reached out with Deathgrip and snagged a bottle from the bar and pulled.  He was a bit perplexed when the only thing to arrive was a pink tutu.   There was an inhuman wail of pain from the Tavern section, which did nothing to improve his hangover, so he tried again.  This time he got at least a broken bottle back, the neck and cork intact, but the remainder of the bottle missing.  There was a roar from downstairs, probably Bruinir trying to teach his pet to dance again. Jarmaon reached out for a third bottle, and was overjoyed to see it arrive.  Directly behind it was something much more distressing to the tune of a ton of angry bear.

Gustav had been about to allow Bruinir to put the tutu upon him when he was hit square between the eyes with a large bottle of wine wrapped in very thin taffeta.  The bottle had stopped at the bear when it shattered, drenching the bear as well as his master who was looking rather shocked.  The bear grunted and bit the hunter, who wailed out “It waren’t me yah git!” and went looking for the bandaged Rubiana kept behind the bar for Brawl Nights.

Bruinir was startled when before his eyes, a second bottle got snatched from the bar and sailed through the air toward the stairs.  It stopped suddenly when it again hit Gustav in the face.  Gustav roared and charged the bar.  Bruinir decided that that was the moment to go look for the local priest and duck out through the kitchen.  A third bottle sailed past Bruninir’s head and shot past Gustav, who promptly turned to chase it.

The bear charged up the stairs, waking Rubiana and her father, Raignar, who leapt out of his room waving his mace and threaening to smite anyone who didn’t “Quiaet doon this secunt!”  He quickly dove back to his room as the bear charged past and peered down the hall to Jaramon’s room, only to see a jumble of claws, fur and pale flesh headed for the window. They crashed through the pane and onto the street.  Once knocked each other unconscious, a small crowd had gathered to try to piece together the events.  Rubianna and her father hit the street just as a single bottle of wine rolled to the edge of the window and with a delicate grace dropped into a rain barrel and bobbed there, waiting to be opened.  Amdusias, returning from Goldshire just in time to see the crowd gather, plucked it out of the barrel for later.

That’s the news from Death Coil, where the Knights are dead, the Dwarves Beautiful and the Imps have Horn Cozies.